Defences down, beautiful fractures...
what could have been,
ninety days living in a beautiful fractures,
into what could have been,
inside the beautiful fractures,
holding while the defences down,
Defences down, beautiful fractures...
what could have been,
sharing lunches in a beautiful fractures,
into what could have been,
inside the beautiful fractures,
walking while the defences down,
Defences down, beautiful fractures...
into what could have been,
caring in the beautiful fractures,
into what could have been,
inside the beautiful fractures,
carress while the defences down,
Defences down, beautiful fractures...
into what could have been,
normalcy in the beautiful fractures,
into what could have been,
inside the beautiful fractures,
gentleness while the defences down,
Defences down, beautiful fractures...
into what could have been,
lifetime in the beautiful fractures,
into what could have been,
inside the beautiful fractures,
love while the defences down,
Defences down, beautiful fractures...
into what could have been,
companion in the beautiful fractures,
into what could have been,
inside the beautiful fractures,
missing while the defences down.
Sharon Rose T. ©
8 comments:
Beautifully done. I love the way the fractures open up new thoughts from stanza to stanza.
I like each time something new shows up breaking each part and yet combining them
I love the rhythm of this poem and how the beautiful fractures gives way to snippets of a love's life when everything is in defences down mode. Beautiful. Everyone should enjoy that kind of time together at least once. Nice job. Have a nice day.
I think it was very interesting that you used repetition but chose to break it in unexpected places-- fracturing.
nice lines.
bet you'd enjoy doing pantoums too.
brings interesting images to mind.
I loved this defences down is the way all relationships should be. Inside the fractures. That could cause something to last. I like the reveals and how they just flow inside each stanza.
this is really well done, like the repetition for effect and the image of fractures is quite powerful.
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